How my life changed in a second *WARNING* graphic content

This is how my life changed. Even if no one reads this I need to tell my story. On tuesday night, November 22, 2011, we were both getting ready to go to sleep we played in the bathtub like we always did. He was a little fussy and I got frustrated with him so my husband took him. He got him to sleep and when he had to get ready to go to work he layed him down next to me like always. I woke up at 3-330 am reached for him looked at him and he wasn't breathing and there was blood coming out of his nose. I yelled for my husband and moved him from the bed to the floor and started cpr. My husband called 911 they kept us doing cpr. The ambulance got here and they immediately took him to the ambulance and got him ready for transport and continued cpr. They had me ride in the front seat and I could hear the flat line. I knew in my head he was gone but my heart wanted to believe otherwise. We got the the hospital and they wheelled him in I followed walking slowly just crying. there was almost every nurse and dr in the er standing in a row. They put a chair outside his room and I just sat there listening to them try to recessitate them. The ambulance team came out of the room and hugged me as they left. They came and told me he was gone and I had as much time with him as I needed/wanted. My husbands uncle asked the doctor what it could have been. He said they never really know. He said it could have been SIDS. He also said that he had some spit up in his air passage way and it looked like he could have asphyxiated on it.